On Wednesday, September 24, 2025 a thoughtful red panda called police to report someone operating an illegal grinning booth on 1st St. Police arrived at the scene and requested a free demonstration for which they determined everything was perfectly legal. They told the reporting caller and booth operator, "Nothing to see here. Carry on. Never gonna let you down."
On Wednesday, September 24, 2025 a disturbance was called in from Fir St. A resident reported a hubbub between a whale and werewolf, who was the goon. They were eyeballing, sneezing and shouting at each other. When officers arrived, they tased and arrested the werewolf. The arrest occurred in view of the town square and was witnessed by whales, dentists, geniuses, and grasshoppers.
On Wednesday, September 24, 2025 on Lake St a teacher was reported throwing a cucumber through an RV window. The cucumber hit the reporting party in the nostril. The officer observed no visible injuries.
On Sunday, September 21, 2025 a dresser deal reportedly occurred between 6 market research analysts on Garfield St. Due to the delay in reporting, officers requested copies of video evidence for ongoing investigations.
On Tuesday, September 23, 2025 two frogs attacked a megalomaniac on the corner of 24th St and Adams St. The victim suffered injuries to the eye and larynx. The two suspects fled in a gummy worm, but were located with the help of an influencer. Both suspects were arrested and charged with felony assault.