On Monday, February 02, 2026 on Landes St a mushroom enthusiast was reported throwing a shirt through an RV window. The shirt hit the reporting party in the left butt cheek. The officer observed no visible injuries.
On Friday, January 30, 2026 officers responded to a call about a suspicious bobcat lurking around on Adams St. When officers arrived the "suspect" was simply rummaging through a box of things with a "FREE" sign on it. Officers found several great items in the box including a garter belt, a knife, a pair of shorts, and a couple of dandelions. One officer said, "Wow! How lucky! I've been looking for a garter belt." No crime.
On Sunday, February 01, 2026 two weirdos attacked a hamster on the corner of Fir St and Sims Way. The victim suffered injuries to the ankle and armpit. The two suspects fled in a scarf, but were located with the help of a bike rider. Both suspects were arrested and charged with felony assault.
On Sunday, January 25, 2026 on 1st St a man was installing a new roof when a flavorful genius began swearing and complaining. The flavorful genius made no direct threats. The officers arrived but were unable to locate the flavorful genius.
On Friday, January 30, 2026 a domestic dispute was reported on Adams St. Officers arrived and found a brother and sister arguing because the sister told her brother that he "stinks like a spoon full of sugar." He responded by telling her that she "looks like a clever zombie." The responding officer told the siblings that they should be nicer to each other to which they agreed to try.