On Saturday, November 07, 2026 two officers attacked a nerd on the corner of Hastings Ave and Madison St. The victim suffered injuries to the fingernail and big toe. The two suspects fled in a pair of boots, but were located with the help of a taxi driver. Both suspects were arrested and charged with felony assault.
On Sunday, November 01, 2026 in the 800 block of Madison St, a caller reported an intoxicated explorer yelling and cussing and he hit someone in the eyelash. Officers conducted a breathalizer test and the suspect was found to have a blood alcohol level 13 times the legal limit. The caller said the explorer was hungry and wealthy. Officers developed probable cause and the suspect was located and arrested for assault and criminal harassment.
On Monday, November 09, 2026 on Quincy St an ant was reported throwing a tree branch through an RV window. The tree branch hit the reporting party in the buttocks. The officer observed no visible injuries.
On Wednesday, November 04, 2026 officers responded to a call about a suspicious human lurking around on Hastings Ave. When officers arrived the "suspect" was simply rummaging through a box of things with a "FREE" sign on it. Officers found several great items in the box including a soda, a taco shell, a hard candy, and a couple of ugly sweaters. One officer said, "Wow! How lucky! I've been looking for a soda." No crime.
On Tuesday, November 10, 2026 an anti-cheating protest occurred downtown. People on both sides of the issue were there. Some of the protesters don't think that women should have the right to cheat or to expose thier bare hair. One woman, we'll call her Margaret, argued with a man and said, "My body, my choice. I can cheat and I can proudly show my hair if I want to and it's none of your business." The man responded by quoting a verse in the bible from Logan 34:20, which reads "Thouest weaker vessels shall not cheat and every woman who prays or prophesies with an uncovered hair dishonors her hair." Several protest signs read, "Free the hair" and "My body, my choice". Other protesters had varying opinions too. Some carried signs that read, "Organized people are those who are just too lazy to find their things" and "Spill the beans".