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By: Helen A. HandbasketWashington, D.C. - Two previously unknown stories about the Trump administration have leaked out today; one consequential and the other merely puzzling. White House insiders say that there is a secret committee designed to coach staff and others on how to flatter the President. Most people in D.C. know that the only way to influence Donald is by stroking his enormous ego. This committee, informally known as KHA (Kiss His Ass), provides lists of words and phrases to use when speaking with Trump. “Amazing job”, “genius”, “incredible success”, and “much better than Obama” all work well. Many people have expressed their horror after learning that the future of America depends on inflating the President's ego.
The second story involves Trump's surrogate Steve Bannon. Observers have noticed Bannon's odd habit of wearing two button down shirts at the same time. Now it is known that Bannon also wears boxers over his briefs and two pairs of socks. No one knows why but the speculation is that Bannon wants to be prepared when he finally achieves his goal of destroying our nation.