For the 400 pound hacker
By: Ray ZinnWashington, D.C. – After Putin insisted that Russia had nothing to do with the meddling in the 2016 U.S. Presidential election, Donald Trump has no reason to believe it’s not true. Or wait, he has every reason to believe it’s true. No, no. That’s not right either. He has every reason to not believe it’s true. Ahhh! Covfefe!
Well, if it wasn’t Russia, then who was it? Trump insists it was “somebody sitting on their bed that weighs 400 pounds.” Trump has ordered the FBI to find the 400-pound man:
Listen up, ladies and gentlemen! Our fugitive has been on the run for 2 ½ years. Average foot speed over uneven ground, barring injuries, is…. probably not very far. What I want out of each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every basement room, bedroom, cyber room, chat room and discussion board room. Our fugitive’s name is…. Uh, probably something like Otis or Doogie or Poindexter. Go get him.