Washington, D.C. - Donald Trump has infected the White House with hatred, bigotry, bias, and misogyny and it has affected the lives of those who work for his administration. Recently, Kirstjen Neilsen, Secretary of Homeland Security, and Sarah Sanders were hounded out of local restaurants by Trump opposers. Even aides, looking for love online, are suffering the consequences of working for Trump. One staffer was told by a prospective date, "I Googled you. Go f*** yourself."
Luckily, entrepreneur extraordinaire Donald Trump has come up with a solution as well as a way to make a few bucks for himself. He will soon announce an online dating service called TrumpyDates.com. Only White House staff and Trump supporters need apply. Also, there are rumors that a new chain of IHOT (International House of Trump) restaurants, designed to be safe havens for Trumpsters, will open nationwide. Don't try to eat there unless you hate black people, brown people, immigrants, women, children, LGBTQ people, disabled people, puppies, kittens...